The Voice

We all have that voice inside us.  Gives us some guidance. Sometimes, it's not even good guidance. 

I have and have not done a good job of listening to the voice.  

In the last 4 weeks, I have specifically made time at the start of the day to clear my head .  I get a cup of coffee, then spend a few minutes reading Daily Reflections, 24 Hours a Day, and Daily Stoic.  Each reading has some little nugget that I can seize and hold on to.  

After I read, I take a few minutes to journal.   I am using the Daily Stoic journal; there is a little prompt in there to ruminate on and write down thoughts related to it.  Or, I can go off and just write down what I want that is on my mind: what I am grateful for, who are important people in my life and day.

Setting this time aside every day has had a profound affect on my life. (Granted, it's only been three weeks since I have started journaling. I need to continue on.)  I have noticed a change in my day and how I am handling situations that have been thrown in my day.

The point is, in this time of quiet, the small voice in my head has a clear chance to be heard.  It has given me an opportunity to become acquainted with the voice, so when the junk pops up in the chaos and din of the day, I can hear what the voice sounds like. 

There are times when I don't hear it, or I hear it to late.  Notably, I need to hear the voice when it is telling me to not be so self-critical.  I heard my self saying harsh, judgmental words out loud last week:  "I am a failure because …"  "I am so stupid."  "I add no value to this conversation." 

I intellectually know  it is wrong.  I know that I am being broad and generalizing.  I am not a failure.  I am not so stupid.  I do add value.   Taking a couple more seconds to think about what I am going to say, and doing so in an honest way is what the voice is telling me to do.

Don't Worry

My anxiety got the better of me last Wednesday afternoon.

I was on my way home, and I hadn't heard from my youngest daughter, K,  when she got home from school.  She calls me when she gets home so I know she made it there safely.  But on this day, I hadn't heard from her, and there was no answer when I called the house.

My son, Z, had texted me that he had forgotten his key, and that his phone battery was at 1%.  So I couldn't contact and check with him to see that he made it, or that K was with him.

A couple weeks ago, K had said she wanted to just spend a couple days at her mom's, and not come to my house.  This was okay; it gave me a couple evenings 1-on-1 with Z. 

My oldest daughter, A, who is 16, has not come to my house in the last year. What contact we have is in the lobby of her therapist's office, or I have said hi to her at K's gymnastics time.  

Because A hasn't been coming to my house, and with K asking a couple weeks ago to spend time at her mom's, I suddenly thought that K was now pulling away from me as well.  I had any number of ideas of how I would handle this. 

Intellectually, the left side of  my brain was telling me "Dude, she forgot her key, too.  It's hanging on the lanyard on her closet door.  The hide-a-key wasn't replaced the last time it was used.  She's just waiting outside at the front of the house."   But this didn't cause the tightness in my chest to go away.  It didn't make my stomach ache unwind. 

The anxiety had strangely taken hold of me.  These sort of situations are ones that in the last year I have been able to turn off, by making a gratitude list in my mind, or some quiet meditation, or some breathing exercises.  The  closer I got to home, the less and less I considered them as viable ways to combat the unease that was washing over me.

When I came around the corner in front of my house, there they are, Z and K, sitting on the steps reading books.  Immediately a flood of relief swept over me, and they hopped up smiling and ran into the house as the garage door opened after I hit the button on the remote.

I was making dinner and feeling like a fool that I let my anxiety get the better of me that afternoon.  What was there to worry about?  What if she had gone to her mom's that day?  I know she would be safe there, would be loved, would be fed, would be warm.  What does it matter if she receives those things here, or receives them there?

Seneca said "True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.” 

I have to remember and hold this in my head; content in my lot, not amusing my self with hopes or fears, but satisfied with what I have.  

Bob Marley captured part of this sentiment in his song "Three Little Birds."

Don't worry 'bout a thing

'Cause every little thing gonna be alright

Everything is going to be alright, so long as I focus on the moment, and know what I can control, and let the rest of it go.

Tea Tag Wisdom

Somedays, mid-afternoon, I like to have a cup of tea. Little jolt of caffiene, and it’s different than a cup of coffee.  

I’m a big fan of Good Earth Sweet & Spicy tea. First, the aroma alone is nice.  It usually will generate a comment from someone, especially if I bring it into a conference room.  

Second, the taste that goes with it. Cinnamon, some orange. Mmm. 

The bonus of Good Earth is the tag on the end of the string has a little pearl of wisdom.  This was today’s nugget. 

There’s days where things occur and situations arise that don’t require a lot of intervention or even thought, and then there’s days like February 2016. 

I didn’t expect life would be a walk in the park and things would just naturally happen to or for me. And I didn’t think it would be as challenging and as full of opportunity, either. 

The last year or so, I spent a little too much time wishing things would be better. Easier. Grandpa Gustafson said it best about wishes in Grumpy Old Men:

I sat on my ass a lot of last year wishing. (You can guess which hand filled up first.) I need to start doing. To that end, I joined Light Hustler Evolution this year, to push myself out of the wish zone and into the do zone.  I am meeting and working with like-minded individuals that want to thrive in 2018. Setting goals, holding each other accountable. Some want to grow their business, some of us are going to get control of our finances, rather than be controlled by them.  Someone will start writing a book, and someone is going to finish one. Not by shame, not by wishing it were so, but by breaking down our goals into small, managable pieces and working on them each day. 

I set a personal goal of being more creative this year, in some way. Maybe it’s writing, maybe it’s through some photography. Maybe it’s both. Maybe it’s neither. This morning, Austin asked “what are you doing today to accomplish your goal,” and so I said I would write something. 

I couldn’t wish this would would write itself. I had to make it happen.  I had to wish that I was better, and then stop wishing and do it. 

I’m looking forward to what 2018 brings. 

Zeptember 15, 2015: Kashmir

Marathon
Epic
Journey
Hot

These words come to mind when the opening chords of Kashmir are struck.  I'm transported away from where I am to somewhere else; somewhere desolate, barren, no roads in sight.

Music and books have the ability to do that to me.  Yes, sometimes it is great to have a movie do that for me; take me away, stop my thinking and let someone else tell the story.  I've always been a voracious reader, and recognized that magic early on, especially when I got into The Lord Of The Rings.    Kashmir, from the first time I heard it, had the ability to pull me away from wherever I was at and bring me around the world in an instant.  I am sure that what I imagine in my head is a far cry from what it is actually like in Kashmir, but who cares.  The music is magic.

Zeptember 2, 2015: Over The Hills And Far Away

Many

[men-ee]

adjective, more, most.

1. constituting or forming a large number; numerous
2. noting each one of a large number

noun

3. a large or considerable number of persons or things

4. the many, the greater part of humankind.

pronoun

5. many persons or things

Many is the word that appears in Over The Hills and Far Away many times, and all in the adjective form (constituting or forming a large number).

I can relate to the author.  I realize that while these (love, being bitten, lied, listened, dreams) have happened many times, there is still many ahead of me too.   I'm hoping to see the open road., the good things ahead.

The song lends to that hope. In the studio version, 6- and 12-string guitar play together after the introduction, with tight bass guitar and percussion through the main part of the song.  As the song ends, the guitar fades and echoes,  trailing off and ending on an up-note. This version from Madison Square Garden doesn't have those elements; it's a live performance and I  love the synergy of the band as they create this magic.

Zeptember 1, 2015: Immigrant Song

Hello, friend.

It's a few years down the road since I last did this.  Regardless, the month of Zeptember starts today.

Kicking off Zeptember 2015 is Immigrant Song.  Three years ago when I started the Zeptember project, Immigrant Song had a place in it.

Today, Immigrant Song comes to mind because of my son. Z is celebrating his 10th birthday today. The kids all know of my love of Led Zeppelin. I play it a lot, and when a song pops on the radio, I'll call it out.  One evening a few months ago as Zach got into the shower, I heard a sound from him, and as it repeated, I recognized it  - even through the wall and with the sound of the running water - as the opening wails of Immigrant Song.  I couldn't make out the rest of the words, but it was clear he was continuing on with the song.

The music the kids listen to is representative of what they hear from their parents and peers. His older sister is a big country music fan.  As a parent and fan of Led Zeppelin, it was so cool to hear him singing it.   Being a careful parent, I want my kids to like things because they like them, not because I do.  This is a message I've tried to convey to them, whether it is about books, movies, music, or the sports teams I cheer for.

Immigrant Song is so cool because it's all there right away. No slow intro, just 113 BPM. Form start to finish it is heavy bass, solid drums, guitar and Robert Plant's signature vocals.

So let's kick off another Zeptember. Immigrant Song.

Mugs

A good mug as the vessel for coffee is grossly under appreciated.  A good mug will trap the heat of the coffee and will radiate heat to your hands on a cool morning.  More than that, a mug can tell a story.

I have a shelf full of mugs, and each has a story to tell.  They provide insight to my mind, to my values, to my history.  I don't have a single mug that's just a plain mug, part of some set of dishes from the department store.  Each was chosen with care because of it's design and point in history.  A few have been gifts, given by those that know of the pleasure I derive from them and the significance I attach to them.  If you're at my house and I get you a cup of coffee (or tea, or hot cocoa),  I will select a mug for you, based on who you are, and I what I know about you, because you deserve that.

My current go-to is my blue Duluth Pack mug.  I chose it on my birthday trip to Duluth.  It stands as a fine representation of that city, a reminder of the value of a Duluth Pack on a canoe trip. It's blue, my favorite color (though I'm more of a deeper, darker loyal blue than this shade).  It's hand thrown, the logo cut by hand and carefully joined to the main body of the vessel.   It's weighty, but not burdensome.

We have junk mugs at the office.  Plastic-ish type of material, and thin.  They tell no story, and heat dissipates from the coffee so quickly it would almost be better to drink iced coffee.  A paper cup from Starbucks does a better job than these do.  The paper cup from Starbucks has your order on it, telling a story.  It's paper, but sturdy. 

Celebration Day

It's been a long time…

The Zeptember project was fun, but writing every day became less of a joy at some point; it became a stressor, because it became something I had to do.  There's a lot of things do  in my life; being a dad, work responsibilities and some other things.  But I had made a commitment to write, and needed to follow through.  That's the type of person I am.

I ended up at the end wanting to take a break of a few days at the beginning of October, and then life started happening. The blog became less of a priority, then nothing.  

I do still feel a need to write, and I know I don't have to write every day.  So, I resolve to write more frequently than the most recent gap, and I'm not just going to focus on Led Zeppelin and their music. There will be all manner of twists and turns.   I think I can make this work in a more measured way than an everyday project.  I have a lot of stuff I think about, and this might be the venue to write it all down.

But first: some music!

In addition to being a Led Zeppelin song, Celebration Day is title of the recording of 2007's Led Zeppelin concert at the O2 Arena in London.  Drummer John Bonham's son, Jason, sat in on drums and did a wonderful job.  This concert commemorated the legacy of Ahmet Ertegun, founder of Atlantic Records, who had passed away a year earlier.  Demand for tickets was unheard of; requests came from every imaginable place on Earth, and only a lucky few thousand attended. 

Hours after the after the concert, the first bootleg recordings (video and audio) began making their way around the world.  5 years after the concert, the official  concert video was released as a theatrical film titled "Celebration Day," which I attended on opening night with a couple friends.  The theater was packed, and we enjoyed seeing the concert in its full digital glory on a large screen. The only issue I had was that the volume wasn't loud enough.  This was a concert video! My ears should have been bleeding when I left.

In November 2012, weeks after the theater release, audio tracks and the concert video were released for purchase. Just in time for Christmas, right?  For many people, yes; but not for me.  However, on my birthday, I was visiting with my friends Sara & Troy and watching the Superbowl.  Troy received two copies for of Celebration Day for Christmas, and gifted one to me.  A generous gift, and one that I appreciate having.

Earlier in the evening, Troy asked me earlier if I liked the show.  After all, these guys were playing a concert many years after their most recent performance; Plant's voice can't hit the dynamics it used to.  I said that yeah, I did like it, even this far down the road.  One of the principal reasons is the advancement in technology; here was a high-definition audio and video track of the greatest band ever, preserved for eternity. Preserved for future fans, including, I hope, my own kids.  My youngest daughter, K, is 5; she loves watching the show (and it warm's her Daddy's heart to hear "Dad, can we watch Led Zeppelin?"

So, if you haven't seen the show, or even heard the audio, take some time and find it. These guys still were really able to rock an arena.

I look forward to visiting you more in the coming days.

Ten Years Gone

If someone asked me what contemplation sounds like, I would play Led Zeppelin's "Ten Years Gone."   The opening bars of the song cause me to stop what I'm doing and reflect.  That theme resonates through the song.

There is beautiful music, and with it some emotional lyrics.  This song again is about relationships; this one, of love lost, and love powerful enough to remind bring to mind ten years later the bonds that existed.

This song is layers deep with guitar. There are different voices; acoustic played alone, which  to me represents the first thoughts that the singer has; the first train of thought that starts a flood of thoughts about his lost love.  As additional voices join in, it's the other thoughts and tracks that branch out from the first.  Each voice with it's own independence, and when joined together form a beautiful harmony.  The thoughts don't ever stop; they keep going. There's not a natural break or stop of a chorus and return to a verse section in this song. It continues to flow.

The  money line comes in the middle  of the song.  These lines cause my chest to tighten up; my breathing stops; I can feel my heart drumming it's beat against my sternum.

Did you ever really need somebody, and really need 'em bad?

Did you ever really want somebody, the best love you ever had?

Have you? Have you felt that?  Have you felt a love so intense that your very existence seems to be in the balance?   This is a love that is beyond the Ward & June Cleaver type of love.  This is a type where you see a look across a room from your lover you know is meant only for you.  The look of devotion, respect, trust.  Love. The smile that forms not because of something someone else said, but because You Just Know that you are loved in a way that nobody has loved you Before, or Ever Will Again.  A touch on your arm as Love passes by that electrifies your entire body. 

I have written this month about listening to Led Zeppelin, and the happy thoughts and sad thoughts, or other memories and feelings that particular songs raise in me.    "Ten Years Gone" evokes all manner of emotions - happyness, sadness, love, fun times, passion - in one song. 

Of all the songs in the catalog, this one is my favorite.  It is perfection.

Thank You

Love is that beautiful of all things.  True love, built on mutual respect, trust, admiration and sacrifice can go on forever. It can withstand the tests of time that naturally occur.  This is the love that Led Zeppelin speak of in "Thank  You."

If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.

If mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me.

These lines are so powerful, they are used to open the song, and again to close it.    In this song, they stop in the midst of the pure power the second album projects to slow down the pace, turn down the volume and send across a simple message: I Love You.

The love he speaks of is simple, pure love. Pure devotion.  Simple, unconditional love.  How love can be; the ideal.  Love that is not complicated by financial or parenting or work issues.  It's not a false feeling, or taken for granted.  Love transcends the wrongs, the rough spots, and endures forever. 

The Rain Song

I have a degree in teaching mathematics.  To earn the degree, I had to take a bunch of education classes, but also earn the equivalent of a math degree, which meant learning all number of mathematical terms.  One term is in the title of the blog: quotient.

A quotient is the result of a division problem.  The quotient is determined by seeing how many times a number, the divisor, can divide into the other number, which is called the dividend.   So, in the example 8 divided by 2, 8 is the dividend, 2 is the divisor, and the quotient is 4.

The title of this blog derives (another math term!) itself from a line in Led Zeppelin's "The Rain Song." 

This is the mystery of the quotient

Upon us all, a little rain must fall

"The Rain Song" is a beautiful song, and one of my favorites by Led Zeppelin.  The beautiful music, accompanied by beautiful words, describing that of different seasons or phases of a relationship.  Spring: new love; Summer: hot, fiery love; Coldness of the winter: hurt and rejection.  

Tis song is filled with emotion.  When he speaks at the end of the song of the mystery of the quotient, he speaks to me of the results revealed by division, or separation.   

When I was going through the separation with my then wife, I had a realization one morning that this may not be as bad as I was making it out to be.  I was at church and my pastor was speaking about the creation view presented in the Bible, where God formed the earth.  The first things that he did was separate the light from the darkness. Then he separated the water from the land; then separated the land from the sea. 

If the first things he did was separate, then for me, I realized, being in a separation may not be such a bad thing. I was learning about myself; how I tick, the things that were most important to me, what could be considered trivial and not as important as I thought they were.  I realized what a jerk I was being, being selfish and critical and rude and inconsiderate towards others, especially those I knew were most important to me.  I had taken them for granted.

While my division with my then wife was brought the rain fall:  sorrow and sadness,  a lot of good has come from it.  I'm still learning about me; I haven't stopped.  But the rain times, with hindsight, aren't always bad. The rain brings water, which also cleanses, erodes, erases and smooths things out, and  fosters growth. 

Bring It On Home

I met some outstanding people at the University of Minnesota-Duluth.  Some of these guys became my closest friends. One thing we shared was a love for good music.  Dave was a big Stevie Ray Vaughn guy. Jeff loved MetallicA.  I had the Zeppelin thing going.  The other guys liked Zeppelin, just as I like MetallicA and SRV; we just each had our favorites.

Friday and Saturday nights were nights to sit back and relax and party. Parties for us meant beer, wop, friends,  and music.

I don't remember when it exactly it was, but we fell in love listening to "Bring It On Home" for a while. This song starts out with a great harmonica part by Robert Plant and bass by Jones, as a tribute to Sonny Boy Williamson; slow, heavy blues. Plant dropped his voice down and muddies it up a bit with the microphone he used and some effects.

At about the 1:45 point, the harmonica trails off and the Jimmy Page's electric guitar kicks this song into gear.  This is the point we guys went from sitting around with our heads hanging down and listening to stomping our feet and air guitaring. 

This song is always a reminder of those days, those guys, the time we had and how simple life was.  Friday and Saturday night parties.  I'm glad to still have these guys as my friends.

Whole Lotta Love

There's no innuendo in Zeppelin's song "Whole Lotta Love."

You need coolin', baby, I'm not foolin',

I'm gonna send you back to schoolin',

Way down inside honey, you need it,

I'm gonna give you my love,

I'm gonna give you my love.

It has one of the most famous opening guitar riffs ever; a supreme bass line; stellar drumming; and the famous mid-song orgasm.  That last part is because that is all this song is about.

The narrator intends to give his lover his love. A whole lot of it. And it's because it's what he needs, and also what he believes she needs.  A primal desire on the part of both parties.

I believe men and women were put here on the earth to work, have fun, learn, grow, teach, share, and also to love and have sex; after all, it's what makes more children.  It's basic self-preservation. That sex feels great is a side effect. Or, are the kids the side effect?  (That's a great "chicken and egg" debate.)  

Couples date, hold hands, kiss, fool around, and have sex.  Maybe they marry. They have more sex. Maybe have kids.  Some people step outside their marriage for sex because the other partner is not engaging in it at an emotional level or regularity that the other wants.  In countries outside of the United States, this behavior is even accepted as normal.

Sexual intercourse is the ultimate expression of trust, intimacy, and love.  It's a way to comfort a partner. It's a way to ease out frustration.  It's the supreme gift; the gift of one's self to the partner in the most private way. Bare. Exposed.  Sex should not be used to control, coerce, or punish someone.  Nor should the withholding of sex be used to control, coerce, or punish someone. One shouldn't be forced to beg for it; it should be done out of love, respect, and trust with the partner.

Here in "Whole Lotta Love," it's that primal desire to sleep with this woman, be with her, that creates the meaning behind the song. The synergy of the band brings the passion, transforming this song from just words to a spate of emotion that recreates the experience in an auditory way that is only unmatched by the physical act.

Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You

This whole blog doesn't have to be -- and isn't going to be -- all about my divorce.  This month of Zeptember, I'm writing about the songs of Led Zeppelin that impact me and mean something to me, and a little bit of why.  While the blog won't be all about it, my divorce is a fact in my life, and I can't ignore it any more than I can ignore that I have two feet.

Whilst going through the separation and divorce, I hadn't been listening to Zeppelin much. A lot of their songs and the messages and meanings were just not something I wanted or needed to hear then. Today, I want to hear them. I love their music. 

The song "Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You," expresses a lot of the emotion that I felt through different times in the process of separation and divorce.   This song embodies the mastery of Page, Plant, Jones, and Bonham to take emotion and give it a voice.  To give me something that I can share with someone who has no perspective on what I went through.  Not that a song can fully explain it all; it's so much more complex than even this song. However, it's as good a representation as I can think of.

This song starts with a peaceful guitar melody, and the first stanza, then a harder rhythm, a second guitar, drums.  Back to peacefulness, another verse and then more of the heavy, the loudness of the drums.  Bonham is just pounding on those drums; no dynamics tonight.

The guitar work in this song is superb; alternating over and over from the peaceful melody, to the more intense part of the song is indicative of the nature of what goes on during these times:  times of harmony, times of acrimony.  There are two different voices, two different patterns of speech in the guitars as well, clearly representing the viewpoints of the two affected parties.   Plant's voice and desperate wailing are also a perfect representation of the emotion felt by either side, at the pain of one leaving, or being sent away.

The latter part of the song is a cacophony of noise; acoustic guitars, electric guitar, drums, vocals.  So many voices, so many emotions calling out. Yelling, talking, each trying to speak over the other. 

Everyone is talking. Nobody is listening.

A lot more went on than just not listening.  It's more complex than that.  It's just part of what I hear in this song, and it relates to what was going on at that time in my life.

Stairway to Heaven

In 2007, the three living members of Led Zeppelin reunited, along with deceased drummer John Bonham's son, Jason Bonham, to play a concert in London honoring Ahmet Ertegun.  Ertegun was the late founder and president of Atlantic Records, and signed Led Zeppelin to the label in 1968.   The demand for tickets was worldwide, and unprecedented.  A reported 20 million requests were made for 18,000 seats.  Less than 9,000 names were chosen by lottery to have a chance to purchase two tickets to attend the show in person.  Sadly, I was not one of them.

The demand for this show and intimate audience size required the show be recorded.  It was announced a couple weeks ago that the concert movie, "Celebration Day" would be released in theaters on October 17, 2012, followed by DVD, Blu-Ray and CD releases of the concert in November.   Zeppelin fans the world over have begun pre-ordering media and movie tickets in to satisfy our needs to see and hear Zeppelin. 

The other day, there was a press conference with the surviving members of the band, talking about the movie, the concert, Zeppelin in general.  During the press conference, they were asked about Stairway to Heaven.

Where do you stand now with regards to Stairway? Page and Plant had different opinions about it…

Plant: “Well, I struggle with some of the lyrics from particular periods of time. The musicality and the construction of it, you know, is peerless. But maybe I didn’t feel quite the same about the lyrics later on in life, as I got further down the road. Maybe I’m still trying to work out what I was talking about… every other f***** is!” 

So, if Led Zeppelin doesn't know what the song means yet today, how can I?   I know that in this song, like many others, it comes down to a particular couple of lines.

Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run,

There's still time to change the road you're on.

Two paths. There's that whole Robert Frost thing; two roads in the woods, took the one less traveled.  But, sometimes you find you picked the wrong one.  There's no harm in admitting fault, going back and trying the other road. 

I had gone pretty far down a road.  If the two tracks diverged from the fork, I was far away from the other track.  I needed a serious course correction. A lot of what I had done couldn't be undone, so just backing up and picking the other road didn't seem a viable course.  I needed a new road, and I had to make it.  It wasn't exactly simple.  But I had time. 

On Led Zeppelin's concert film and soundtrack, "The Song Remains The Same," the song "Stairway to Heaven" is preceded with Robert Plant saying "This is a song of hope."  I found hope in those two lines.

No Quarter

I spent a month in Cleveland the middle two weeks of January 1997. The company I was working for sold our software to our competitor, in order to focus all of our attention on a single product line.

During this visit to Ohio, I had a Saturday where I didn't go home for the weekend. I hung out in Cleveland, and went to check out the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum, and see what else was going on there (not much).   During that visit, I saw costumes worn by the Beatles, guitars played by various artists, a lot of gold records and posters and other memorabilia.  But the one thing that still stands out to me this day is the notebook that James Hetfield used when writing the Metallica album which was released in 1991.  The book was open to the page where he was working out the lyrics to "Enter Sandman." Seeing that open page, his doodles and notes and working out the lyrics was as a picture into the mind of Hetfield. 

After my trip to the Hall, I started going to record shops, seeing if they had any Led Zeppelin bootleg CD.  At one store, I found a couple concert CD's, and another had a CD called Studio Daze.   The final three tracks on this CD are "No Quarter (Instr. Rehearsal)," "No Quarter (Instr. Rehearsal)," and "No Quarter (Final Take)."   I bought it. What were these Instrumental Rehearsals? 

Keep in mind, this was 1997.  No iPods, and I didn't have a laptop at the hotel to listen to this CD on.  I didn't have my Discman with me.  The rental car I had didn't have a CD player in it either.  So I had to wait 6 days to get home to give this a listen.

I finally got home.  I had a pile of mail to sort through, laundry to do, but the first thing I wanted to do was hear these 3 versions of "No Quarter."  I loaded up the CD, fast forwarded to track 7, turned up the volume and sat down.

And was blown away.

Never mind the drumstick taps and Bonham's singsong "Pictures of Lily" at the start of the track.  The song opens as we're used to, with Jones on the synthesizer.  This was followed by the drums and guitar coming in, but no vocals.

This is already an ominous song, but now hearing it played without vocals, the tune took on a slightly more portentous tone.  And the tone just soaked into me. 

I'd listened to Zeppelin for years, and songs had taken hold but this night I just sat and listened to these three tracks over and over and over again.

I played in band in high school, and these rehearsal tracks opened a new area of appreciation for me. I've sat through hundreds of rehearsals and lessons and practice, and have an appreciation for what it takes to put something together. Everyone's part is important, has a role and voice, and it takes a lot for it to come together.  

These audio tracks became for me what the Hetfield notebook I saw in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Museum was:  an audio picture into the minds of Page, Jones, Bonham and Plant as they worked through things to develop this great song, and was more insightful to me than any interview I had read.

When The Levee Breaks

Levee: An embankment designed to prevent the flooding of a river.  -- Dictionary.com

Each spring as the snow melts and drains, rivers rise.  The further downstream you are, the more water there is, as miles and miles of tributaries feed their waters to the main river.   We hear of flooding each year.  Natural and man-made levees are supplemented with walls of sandbags, filled by volunteers who assemble to fill and place bags in attempts to save homes and businesses.

Water is cleansing and nourishing, sustaining  our lives, but it also  can be a force of destruction.   A levee can break, or breech, due to faulty design or erosion.  When it does, a trickle or torrent of water is unleashed and can leave untold amounts of damage behind after the waters recede.

In 1971, Led Zeppelin unleashed their own torrent upon the world, releasing their version of "When The Levee Breaks."  It's raw.  It's heavy.  It's the blues. 

This is an amazing song. There's a lot of emotion in here; despair, hopelessness.  Nothing you do can stop the forces at play; tremendous amounts of water, pressure and time all working against you, and as humans, we are pretty irrelevant.  There's nothing we can do, no place we can go.

To me, this song is a metaphor for our emotions, especially those of depression, sadness that wear away on us.  It was bad with me a couple years ago, when I finally snapped out of whatever trance I was in.  When I realized how bad things were, things seemed to get worse.  My feelings about myself got worse and other stresses stepped in to add to everything that was going on. 

Cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good, 

Now, cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good, 

When the levee breaks, mama, you got to move. 

I got to a point a couple days where I had cried so much, I wasn't sure I could cry any more. I physically and emotionally was worn out. All the people who said "it will feel good to cry and let it out" were lying. I certainly prayed in that time too, and ahead of it.  It seemed for naught.  Certainly the healing and reconciliation I had hoped and prayed for then didn't happen.

Eventually, the waters receded.   There was damage left behind, but I made it through.  I have my health, a great job, great friends and family, a nice house, three smart and healthy kids.  I've got a different outlook on my life and how I need to live it.

This song speaks to me of that time:  you can be down, and things might get worse, and the only thing we can do is wait it out. It's out of our control.  The waters have been set in motion miles upstream. We can cry, we can pray, but at that point in time, all you can do is get as far out of the way of the path of destruction as possible.   At least there's a great tune to listen to while you're getting out of the way. 

What Is and What Should Never Be

Verboten. Forbidden. Banned.

A school bans a book, and controversy ensues.  TSA has banned a long list of items from being brought on board an airplane, including personal toiletries of more than 3 ounces; but passengers day after day want to bring their gallon jug of Head & Shoulders with them on vacation.  Right off the bat in the Bible, God forbids Adam & Eve from eating fruit from The Tree of Knowledge of Good & Evil.  What do they end up eating?

The forbidden things are what we desire the most, because we're told we can't have them.   Plenty of times, growing up, we were told "no."   I couldn't go to a friends house without their parents being home.   Those were the times we had the most fun!   Drinking underage: always had someone who would buy for me.  (My friends and I were pretty safe though, and knew to stay at one home once we got started; that's one thing I'm glad we paid attention to).

As a parent, I am now handing out some healthy doses of Vitamin N to my kids, having the hindsight and knowledge from experiences I had with things that were forbidden to me.   I might take a slightly different approach to things than my parents did, though.

In the tune "What Is and What Should Never Be,"  the narrator weaves a story for us of forbidden love: that of another woman.  According to legend, Robert Plant was having dalliances with his then girlfriend's younger sister, which led to this song.  

And what a song it is.  This is one of my favorite Zeppelin tunes, for so many different reasons.  First, the turn of phrase of the title.  Words have power.  Second, musically, this song just has a lot that I am looking for: Strong guitar, great drumming, solid bass.  The bridge is especially fantastic, with the echo call of the guitar panned across the channels. It's a wonderful experience listening to this song in the car.   Finally, the key phrase for me:

So if you wake up with the sunrise, and all your dreams are still as new, 

And happiness is what you need so bad, girl, the answer lies with you.

First of all, I'm a morning person; I love the sunrise.  Lately I've had opportunity to catch a few of them, and it's been a delight.  Seeing the new of the day develop and knowing there's tremendous promise ahead is a great start to the day. Well, that and a cup of coffee.

The second line is most important, and to guys as well as girls:  Happiness is what you need so bad, the answer lies with you.   I am responsible for my happyness, and my attitude.  I cannot rely on my kids for my happyness; they can add to my happyness, but cannot be responsible for it.  A spouse, partner, lover can supplement happyness, but to have them responsible for my being happy is an unrealistic burden for them to bear.  I have to make the choice.  Some days, I might not be as happy as others.  Did I sleep poorly? Is my health bad?  Are events taking place in the world (globally, locally, personally) that are impacting my attitude or outlook?    We are all going to have bad days.  But I am responsible for making the decision to achieve a higher level of happyness.   And, I know that what is only a "4" for me on a scale of 1 to 10 might be an "8" for someone else.  We need to understand this is a sliding scale here, changing for each person. 

This is one of the chief things I'm trying to impart this to my kids when their attitude gets sour.  We choose how we act. We may not like what is currently going on, but if we approach a problem or a task with a good attitude, our results will  come quicker and we'll feel better about the outcome than we would have if we approached it with a rotten mindset.

Taking in mind the "forbidden" theme from the song, should I consider taking the negative approach in my parenting?  Should I forbid the kids to have a happy attitude?  It's one way we have turned frowns in to giggles here, but I'm going to forsake that for taking the more consistent approach about fostering a happy attitude.  And the first way that comes is by me setting the example.

Black Country Woman

When I was growing up and listening to my parent's records or tapes I had purchased, I always heard a perfectly played, well engineered piece of music.  The correct notes were played, the right words were sung, and nary an error was heard.  That was the product you delivered to the paying customer: something perfect.  

Then I heard Zeppelin's "Black Country Woman."  At the start of the song, you hear people talking, an airplane flying by, followed by a laugh and "Nah, leave it."  What was this?  How did this make it past an editor?  Have a listen:

Careful listening will reveal errors all over in Zeppelin's music.  In "Since I've Been Loving You," the pedal used to beat the bass drum has a squeak to it.  That squeak is as much a part of that song as the guitar solo.  In "Out On the Tiles," after Plant sings the line "I'm so glad I'm livin'," you can hear someone say "STOP!".  This was obviously from a previous take of that dong, captured on the tape and included for all eternity. 

There are other errata in their song catalog, but to me, they aren't mistakes; they are part of the music.  More than that, they reveal a human side of the band. Not just masters at creating music, telling a story, sharing heartbreak; now something went wrong, and they laughed it off.  They played through.  They didn't try to re-take the song, or oil up the bass pedal.  

They laughed it off.

When I played in high school band, there was such a focus on getting it exactly, technically right.  Crescendo now, and play staccato there and get exactly the right notes. One year, our jazz band had a Zeppelin-like moment. We were recording all the songs we had played that year. We had to be deathly quiet after a song so our instructor could pause the tape and we could get set up for the next song, then the deathly silence.  As we were finishing up one of the songs, it was getting close to the start of the school day.  With only a few measures left, the school bell went off and the assistant principal came on the intercom to call various miscreants to the office.  Someone said "we should start over" but we left it in. I love hearing that when I listen to that tape (yes, I still have it).

I've made a lot of damn mistakes in my life. Some, I've come to learn, were pretty intentional and not so much mistakes based on my attitude, the words I chose to use, or the tone of my voice.  I had a lot of focus on some sense of perfection. I was trying to live to some unattainable ideal, and I expected others around me to live to this ideal, one which I hadn't clearly communicated to them.   I'd like to think that I'm better now at laughing it off.  That I'm better at understanding and accepting that so much in my life is out of my control, and moving onto the next thing to affect change where I can.

Immigrant Song

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and in music, covering a song is the way it is done.   There are bands playing right now in a club or bar anywhere around the world playing Led Zeppelin songs.  Several Led Zeppelin tribute bands make a living traveling around and not only playing the music of Led Zeppelin, but dressing up and playing the part as well.   I've seen a couple bands in my time, and it has been a pretty good night out.  I have had to stop myself initially at these shows when I have started feeling a little disappointed to say: "This isn't Led Zeppelin, Shawn.  They love the band as much as you do; maybe more. Give them some credit.  They're on stage making the effort."   I also know from being in a band on the other side that we didn't fully reproduce the artists we were covering; but we did represent them, and the crowd had a good time.

I recently completed reading  Stieg Larsson's The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, and decided to watch the movie.   As the opening credits rolled, "Immigrant Song" began playing.  This wasn't Led Zeppelin's version, but an industrial/tech version performed by Trent Reznor, and vocals by Karen O.   They did a great job covering the song, and there were cool visuals with it. I think it was an appropriate way to represent the song, considering the theme of book.

Many other top bands have covered or used Led Zeppelin's music.    I was out with a couple friends one night and when we got back into my friend Jeff's truck to head home "When the Levee Breaks" started playing on the radio.   Jeff said "Oh, sweet! The Beastie Boys!" thinking that "Rhymin' and Stealin'" was coming on the air.   Almost in synch, my friend Pat and I started laughing and we corrected Jeff. 

The power of Zeppelin in that moment was we were two beats into the song, and we knew who it was.  We knew that it was the Zeppelin version and not a sample. 

The other thing with Zeppelin is that they themselves were masters at borrowing.  Before the Beastie Boys sampled "When the Levee Breaks,"  Led Zeppelin took it from someone else.  Zeppelin also took "Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You," and "Bring It On Home," and "Traveling Riverside Blues," among many others.

If we love Zeppelin, we have to love that they borrowed, and in my opinion, improved upon the original.  I've also come to appreciate other artists doing Zeppelin's work.  Tori Amos does a great cover of "Thank You," as does Chris Cornell.   Blind Melon did "Out on The Tiles."   The Black Crowes (okay, with Jimmy Page on guitar) did a bunch of Zeppelin tunes, and Chris Robinson has a great voice.  A nice list of covers is here, and I know a lot of these can be found on YouTube.

Do you have a favorite Zeppelin cover?