In The Light

Being a dad and having a light bill, I’ve become the guy who walks around the house turning off lights that are left on. Garage lights, bedroom lights, basement lights, bathroom lights.  There are so many lights left on around here some days. I know I was like that as a kid, too. 

I'm alone here part of the week, and I generally keep lights to a minimum.  At home in the night time, the house is pretty dark. I know my way around, but with 3 kids, there's a fighting chance I might step on a Lego or a book or a matchbox car or doll head, all of which hurt. A lot!  So if I'm navigating my way around, I turn some lights on.

Zeppelin's song "In the Light" isn't so much about getting around the house at night.  It's about our life journey, and like so many other songs, I have liked this song for a long time, but in the last couple years, it took on new meaning.

And if you feel that you can't go on. And your will's sinkin' low

Just believe and you can't go wrong.

In the light you will find the road. You will find the road.

I probably had no idea just how depressed I was until I realized things were so bad with my marriage.  And it wasn't just my marriage that things were bad with, I realized.  It was relationships with friends. My health.  Then I realized that things in all those areas hadn't been right for a long time.

My self-esteem was pretty low, and I realized it had been low for a long, long time. I could - would - project confidence to others, but doubted my ability to actually carry through on it.  People told me I did a good job on something at work; but, I didn't believe them.  Even if I got a bonus, or called out in some other way and given attention, I didn't believe I was doing something.   Or, people would tell me "Shawn, you're such a good dad."  Really? I sure didn't feel like it. 

I know you get out of something what you put in.  I didn't feel like I was putting in a lot, when I know now in reality I was.  I didn't feel like a good Dad, be cause I wasn't putting a lot into it, either.   The same with my marriage.

At the end of the day - well, quite a while, actually -  and after a lot of reflection, I did come to believe that I was good at my work, I was good at being a dad.  The marriage, by then, was done. 

The key is here, to believe, and you can't go wrong; In the light, you'll find the road.  It's a lot easier to find the path when the light is shining on it.  The whole "it's better to light a candle than curse the darkness."  

"In the Light" is an underplayed, under appreciated song. You're not going to hear it on the radio unless you have a station nearby that has a "Get the Led Out" feature or it's a "Zeppelin AtoZ" weekend or something.  Most people won't or haven't listened past the introduction, where Jimmy Page uses a violin bow on an acoustic guitar while John Paul Jones works the synthesizer.   After that, and the opening lyrics, the song kick in, and it is a dynamic song, full of emotion and the desperation for people to walk In The Light.